(WARNINGS: potential nsfw conversation?) text;

[villainously]

( so the pirate is definitely just trying to reach one person in particular, but those handy private filters? well he's not mastered those yet. so enjoy, entire hotel, a pirate and his inquiries.

because when a savior mentions, more than once, that she wants something? well, he's going to try and provide. he stole a bunch of hot chocolate to try and give her something good in a place that has so little to speak of, and this is really no different.

...well it's kind of different. he just doesn't know that yet. )

do you know what condoms are? you can look it up, can't you, in your book? I think that's how it'd be spelled.

do you suppose there will be any around this place, if I asked around?

( he has no idea what he's asking for, but hey. he probably wouldn't be that ashamed if he did. )

Comments

[advising]

And here I thought I was the only man in your heart.

[ But really, Cashmere, no, gross, ew. ]

[64th]

If you can get it up, we'll talk.

[advising]

oh, sorry, whiny, spoiled little girls aren't really my thing.

[64th]

Good thing I'm not any of those. ;)

[advising]

whatever you say, sweetheart. denial is the first stage.

[64th]

Please. All men are attracted to me. You're no different.

[advising]

I am sorry to inform you that I am very, very different. But whatever makes you feel better, sweetheart.

[64th]

Oh. Do you like men?

[advising]

No, because then I'd be attracted to you, and we can't have that. What a ~scandal~.

[64th]

WHAT?

[advising]

And here I thought you were a man playing at being a woman. Am I wrong?

[ he's awful, and he is so glad this is texting, because he can save this conversation for a good laugh later. ]

1/3

[64th]

oh fuck you

2/3

[64th]

It's been so long since you've touched a woman you've obviously forgotten what they look like

ok done

[64th]

AND IF I HAD A DICK IT WOULD be BIGGER THAN YOURS

1/2

[advising]

re: fuck you - no thank you.

2/2

[advising]

I know enough to know they don't look like you. Don't cry, you'll be pretty one day.

[64th]

[ HE ALWAYS GETS THE LAST WORD IT'S SO INFURIATING ]

yeah well

you smell

[advising]

Factually correct. Would you like to tell me something I don't know?

[64th]

something is wrong with you

[advising]

i cannot argue that.