(WARNINGS: potential nsfw conversation?) text;

[villainously]

( so the pirate is definitely just trying to reach one person in particular, but those handy private filters? well he's not mastered those yet. so enjoy, entire hotel, a pirate and his inquiries.

because when a savior mentions, more than once, that she wants something? well, he's going to try and provide. he stole a bunch of hot chocolate to try and give her something good in a place that has so little to speak of, and this is really no different.

...well it's kind of different. he just doesn't know that yet. )

do you know what condoms are? you can look it up, can't you, in your book? I think that's how it'd be spelled.

do you suppose there will be any around this place, if I asked around?

( he has no idea what he's asking for, but hey. he probably wouldn't be that ashamed if he did. )

Comments

text;

[lesson]

don't know about rubbers mate, but i have anal lube

[villainously]

going a bit in the opposite direction but it's good to know
why on earth do you have that?

( yes, the pirate knows what lube is. at least he knows something. )

[lesson]

it were in my luggage when i woke up here. this places got a sick sense of humor, yanno? giving a bald man rogaine or giving a bloke a stuffed pug when his dog ain't here

[villainously]

all I got was a soundtrack to some movie about pirates. I can't even use it.

[lesson]

ain't that hilarious?
in a fucked up sort of way

[villainously]

what is the point of it, I wonder
just to prove to us they know us and are shitheads?

[lesson]

could be they actually think they're being helpful. but shitheads seems more likely.
so have you got a girlfriend or somethin?

[villainously]

girlfriend is a terrible term

( he screwed that pooch pretty soundly, he doesn't need to make it worse by making claims that will only make Emma unhappier. he's very taken, but as far as knowing whether they're together, ironically enough he's not sure. )

1/??? idk man sorry

[lesson]

romantic interest then

[lesson]

gal pal
date mate

[lesson]

spouse
intended spouse

[lesson]

lover

ok done

[lesson]

whatever what i was getting a was did it really take you three months to think of wrapping it before you start tapping it

again lmao

[villainously]

you're awfully curious about things not particularly relevant to you

( HE'S NOT TALKING ABOUT IT EGGSY OK! lesson learned!! )

[lesson]

they have shows bout a bunch of pregnant women in the same house
if that's how this place is going to go, we need to start preparing

text;

[ukase]

So those previous 'fuck offs' were actually literal.

text;

[lesson]

nah bruv
i ain't sharing this with you

text;

[ukase]

Good because I ain't sharing my condoms with you.
Get genital herpes and syphilis for all I care.

text;

[lesson]

have you actually got rubbers or are you just getting the other blokes hopes up?

text;

[ukase]

I'm always prepared.

text;

[lesson]

prepared to laugh at some else's expense?
you gonna share with him?

text;

[ukase]

You make it sound like I'm not getting laid. Or are you the reduce, reuse, recycle kind of guy? Sloppy seconds gets all new meanings with you.

text;

[lesson]

( UM

EW

FUCK OFF except eggsy is tryin real hard to be a gentleman and, like, a good person. )

look i just don't want any more kids running around.

text;

[ukase]

You won't have to worry about that, since you're just doing anal apparently.

text;

[lesson]

jesus fucking christ