ｃｈｅｃｋｉｎｇ ｉｎ? ( ｍａｉｎ )

[the feed begins, showing a woman with red hair, fair skin, teal irises, and scarlet glasses, glaring so intensely at the camera you'd think she was trying to burn it with her eyes. she's absolutely unhappy with the current situation for several reasons, the first being--]

I am sure someone is viewing this, and who ever is should know where the hell I am. If this is supposed to be paradise for the dead, this is the poorest rendition of it I've ever seen. And trust me, I've heard of one with Faygo rivers and trees that grow special stardust. I believe I'd take that over this.

[even after their subtle betrayal, she'd take the damn clowns' idea of heaven, and all the clowns in it. at least then she'd be in her own body, and would understand so much more about it.]

The matter of where can be addressed with ease, as can the matter of why I'm here, how I was brought, and who did so. What I do not understand is the "what" of things. Particularly, what am I? Am I some sort of slug? A strange relative of the cholerbear? Is this what reincarnation really is? If it is, I think I would've been more content as a ghost.

[she gives a thoughtful pause, then softens slightly. her answers would come in due time. they always did. no need to be so upset... her gaze focuses back onto the camera, but this time it is not so harsh.]

If anyone has any information regarding any of my questions, please contact me as soon as possible. I am willing to work with anyone who has an idea of what is happening to me. [her calm facade shifts into something a bit more manic, a grin suddenly splitting her face.] And if anyone has any intelligence on the pirate, Marquise Spinneret Mindfang, please report it to me as well. [for what reasons? none that could be too good. before the feed ends, redglare winks, and offers few parting words:]

A good evening to you. Until we meet again.

[end feed.]