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[Someone is bored. And when someone is bored they do stupid things, and this would probably be classed as one of them. Besides, Gabriel's starting to get curious to see how people react to things.]

So like, I did something like this to someone once. For almost four months. It was pretty hilarious if you ask me. Groundhog day was a great movie, so I was feeling inspired. Pull the strings and see how they reacted. [There's zero shame, sorry Sam.]

Anyhoo. When I was doing that to my unwitting victim who shall remain nameless, stuck in my tangled web of illusion, I made sure to keep a close eye on them by disguising myself and watching. Simple right? So these staff apparently never show up but see everything anyway. Which means that they're probably one of us. I mean that's the only thing that makes sense. Pretend to be a hostage, fit in with the crowd and so on. Classic textbook.

So. Start making your excuses, I'm interested to hear 'em.

Oh before I forget. Has anyone here actually died? Not counting the captain who was dumb enough to keep coming back.

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Oh please, they were all holding hands and singing songs last week. If one throwaway comment turns them on each other then that's their problem.

[Of course he's getting a kick out of it. The worst the hotel has done for him is give him flowers.]

And let's just hope I'm the worst that this hotel will ever drag in, hm?

[He doesn't know why he keeps trying for the Reasonable Empathetic approach. It's not like that's born much fruit in the past, and Gabriel's got an ironclad immunity to it.]

But you don't know if you are.

Though I guess sowing discord's your raison d'être. Y'know, being, uh - Loki, and all.

[That empathy just bounces off of Gabriel's skull. Thank god it's not the Winchester puppy eyes, if Sam thinks back too hard he'll remember how the sad eyes got Gabriel to bring Dean back in the end.]

I know I'm not the worst thing in the universe. Now imagine being stuck in a hotel with no escape and one very angry super-powered piece of work going on a rampage.

[Pauses.]

Oh wait we've done that already haven't we? Man, Ganesha didn't deserve that.

[Oh good, they're on the same page. Wonderful.]

So. What's your plan, then? Short of tackling whoever shows up outside my door at 4:29.

[Pause. He shifts uncomfortably, because he doesn't want to admit he's actually considering it a legit possibility buuuuuuut.

Archangel's got a point. His voice lowers, expression darkening, his tone sincere.]

You really think it's a possibility that it's one of us? Or are you just having some fun?

No plan yet, I'll let you know.

[And for once Gabriel isn't going to mock that uncomfortable shuffle. Nope. Just the idea of being stuck in a hotel with Lucifer again is the worst. Added onto that the fact that no-one seems to have died yet....it'd be eternal agony if people couldn't die. It's okay for Sam, Lucifer likes his vessel. Gabriel is the little brother aka most probable punching bag.

Fuck that noise.]

Sam. You have seen a lot of crap back home. There are no hidden cameras here, people have been looking since day one and not found a thing. We both know that normally someone is watching, and it's always that one person people don't look at twice.

[God, he hates admitting it, especially since there's no way of knowing if this is remotely earnest or not, but - it makes sense. Whatever nebulous thing is running this place, it knows about Dean and Gabriel and Hell and everything, and they both know the level of risk that invites.

Fuck this. Fuck this, fuck this, fuck this.

He sighs, long and slow.]

Okay. I'm not gonna rule anything out. But how do you know it's not, say, me?

[They've both seen a lot of shit to know when something isn't what it seems. Now it's convincing others of the same thing that's going to be the problem.]

You?

[Actually laughs at that one, but not unkindly.]

Sammy, you would have caved in after a few days. If it was just me and some others I knew, maybe, but there are people here that aren't involved and that's not your style.

[All right, fair enough. At least that takes him off the suspicions radar. It's not like he looks up to do much of anything, much less perpetuate some sort of universal surveillance over the hotel residents. He's pretty sure he'd lose one round to a paper bag right now.]

So, what? Everyone and their monkey's got something to hide. How d'we even know where to begin?

[That and Sam is way too nice to torment innocents for long. Gabriel reckons the guy would do it if he had to, but he'd cave when asked on it.]

That's your area of expertise isn't it? I mean that's why you carry those fake fbi badges around. You talk to people every day, even the ones that hide crap. Think of something.

Yeah, it's real easy to think right now. My brain's been bleeding out my nose for three days and I feel like I'm dying. Really not keen to kick that bucket again.

[All sarcasm aside - it's true he's met a remarkable number of people his first few days here alone. He hates having to make this A Thing. It feels perversely like he's spying for Gabriel, and there are so many things wrong with that sentiment.

But, as much as he loathes to admit it, it's not like he has a lot of choices on his hands. Exposing Gabriel might be handy if Sam wants to raise suspicions about him instead - potentially deserved ones, considering the guy's track record - but it wouldn't do a thing about the bigger problem.

Begrudging and reluctant, he concedes with a slow nod.]

Fine. I'll keep an eye out.

Cool.

[Gabriel will help in his own way. He's been watching the network for three months now. Someone always fucks up on the network and one day it'll be worth it.

And well, Sam still looks like shit. The gates of Hell are still a Thing™. Maybe Gabriel will just poke and prod a little. Verbally.]

You still look like crap and it shouldn't be lasting that long. Am I going to need to keep one of the bibles to hand?

It's a bit more than your typical flu. Pretty sure I slept for a whole day after I got here. It hasn't been that bad since.

[That's going to be a little bit more difficult from now on. With the 4:30 am wake-up call and all. Forever bitter. Forever bitter.

He quirks one eyebrow.]

Maybe. I could use the fuel.

[See this? This is Gabriel's serious face for once, squinting at the screen and taking a good, proper look at how Sam seems. Quite frankly the angel doesn't seem too impressed either.]

Right. I was thinking more beating that flu out of you with it. Fuel also works.

[He snorts and shuts his eyes, massaging the bridge of his nose between pinched fingers.]

For the spell, asshole. I haven't given up on trying it.

[Yeah, Gabriel's going to be keeping a close eye on Sam. Who knows what he's dragged in to the hotel with him.]

Not even going to wait until you can spin in a circle and not keel over?

The sooner I can try it, the sooner I can do something about - this.

[With a mildly disgusted cupping of his hand beneath his face. Yeah, he looks like death. Mostly because he was supposed to die. Thanks for that, Dean.]

And the sooner everyone else can get out.

[...that's if it works. Which is, he'll admit, a pretty sizable 'if'.]

[That big, giant 'if' is definitely looking over the conversation, enough so that Gabriel feels the need to not point it out. By acknowledging the 'if' means it could happen, and he's happy ignoring the crap out of it.]

Gotta admit, I'm sick of seeing your sick ugly mug. I'll settle for just ugly mug.

Gee, thanks.

[If that's Gabriel-speak for 'get better Sam' or even just 'stop dying Sam', Sam guesses he'll take it.]

But seriously, bible? If you're not too attached, I could use something to burn.

[It's definitely Gabriel-speak for "get better". Teasing and tormenting someone who isn't well is not fun.]

I already said. I've got at least six of them lying around my room. The hotel decided my gag gift would be almost useful since I'm using one to prop the door open on occasion. The "word of God". Pft.

Edited 2015-05-20 07:35 (UTC)

[At least raw steak, however perplexing, can be kind of useful in case the food cuts out again. Six bibles just seems kind of redundant. And kind of lends a whole knew meaning to 'godforsaken' in terms of getting out of this godforsaken hotel.]

Can you still 'poof' things, or did the hotel take that one off you?

[Never hurts to ask.]

[That and steak's useful for slapping on bruises apparently. A lot of bibles is redundant but Gabriel gets the message behind it, that and if he ever needs to write a ransom note he has the perfect material to cut words out from. It would be the most righteous demanding note ever.]

Wow Winchester, why don't you ask my measurements at the same time?

[He may be giving a mock scandalized look, but there's definitely reluctance before he speaks next, and it's with all the enthusiasm of a child being made to eat vegetables.]

They took it.

[The level of recalcitrant unhappiness is really all the answer Sam needs, but at least Gabriel's being up front, assuming he is actually being up front. But it's not without sympathy a very small amount of sympathy that Sam pauses before he continues.]

That seems to be the general story. Anyone here with a lot of power got that cut off.

[He looks torn for a minute, like he's feeling maybe he should apologize or something, but no he shouldn't, why would he do that. That's dumb.]

Never mind. If you're not too attached, I can take one off your hands the old-fashioned way.

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