(WARNINGS: potential nsfw conversation?) text;

[villainously]

( so the pirate is definitely just trying to reach one person in particular, but those handy private filters? well he's not mastered those yet. so enjoy, entire hotel, a pirate and his inquiries.

because when a savior mentions, more than once, that she wants something? well, he's going to try and provide. he stole a bunch of hot chocolate to try and give her something good in a place that has so little to speak of, and this is really no different.

...well it's kind of different. he just doesn't know that yet. )

do you know what condoms are? you can look it up, can't you, in your book? I think that's how it'd be spelled.

do you suppose there will be any around this place, if I asked around?

( he has no idea what he's asking for, but hey. he probably wouldn't be that ashamed if he did. )

Comments

text;

[advising]

Impressive, pirate man. Even I can't embarrass myself as spectacularly as you do.

[ yes, Emma may have mentioned you're a pirate, and it will never get old. Never. ]

Not sure there are some around. Should be focused on other things, but, to each his own. Guess you'll have to get creative.

[villainously]

( look he's not ashamed of being a pirate, in fact he's probably too proud of it. )

it was a simple inquiry, I don't see why it's embarrassing.
and yes, I've come to that conclusion.

( he might have liked to surprise her, and he'll still try, but if they don't exist that's sort of the end of it. )

[advising]

Don't think I want to know what you come up with.
And now the whole hotel knows you're on the hunt. Well done.

[ no surprises now, Hook, sorry. Haymitch is eternally amused. ]

[villainously]

that wasn't the intention, but I don't particularly care that people know all the same.
if I can find some then I'm willing to barter.

( look best friend, sex is great, and he wants to do it safely, why are you being so lame. )

[advising]

Technology is hard for the piratical, I understand.
Someone has some. There's too many of us here.

[ fine, fine, he'll pretend he cares for now. but it may only be for emma's sake. ]

[villainously]

not all of us have instant skill with devices we've never used.

( he thinks he does really well with his plus-sized talking phone, so rude!!! )

this place isn't terribly keen on giving us wants, only bare necessities.

[advising]

well, you're doing fine, don't cry.

[ sorry, he's feeling particularly saucy today. it happens. ]

bare necessities -- i'd say that's very generous of you.

[villainously]

well, pirates are used to living on a bare minimum, this place has more accommodation than Neverland did
not that the things they chose to hold back balances it terribly well.

Re: text;

[ingrantitude]

Hey, guy wants to get laid. I can't blame him. Still bears some thought. If we're going to be here for ...awhile.

[awhile being - a long ass time.]

[64th]

Got you thinking about it? ;)

[ Cashmere no. ]

[ingrantitude]

[Yes. but.]

Don't you? It's been awhile for me.

[64th]

[ it's fine it's fine it's fine ]

Obviously I think about it, I'm trapped in a hotel, not dead. All these attractive people around, what else are we supposed to be doing to pass the time?

[ingrantitude]

We should start a library. I had someone who told me that if I ever felt the urge I should read a book or punch something

[64th]

I have the C encyclopedia if you're desperate for knowledge.

By the way your friend was seriously disturbed.

[ingrantitude]

I've got how to win friends and influence people. If you want to trade.
...what friend?

[advising]

And here I thought I was the only man in your heart.

[ But really, Cashmere, no, gross, ew. ]

[64th]

If you can get it up, we'll talk.

[advising]

oh, sorry, whiny, spoiled little girls aren't really my thing.

[64th]

Good thing I'm not any of those. ;)

[advising]

whatever you say, sweetheart. denial is the first stage.

text;

[advising]

A while, right. Let's encourage procreating in a Hotel that is determined to kill us all. Yes, this plan is foolproof.

[ it's said with love, of course, okay? they're battleship bros, they can be real with one another, right? ]

Re: text;

[ingrantitude]

I don't advocate it, I'm just saying that as a way to pass the time-

[Oh my god] How do I come off looking disgusting here.

[advising]

Nevermind that while you're passing the time the whole building could see us all die slowly, painfully. Do you want your body to be found mid-coitus?

[ Whatever you want, bro. ]

Thought not.

[ingrantitude]

I'm not stupid.

[He feels sick.] Just...tired.

[advising]

We all are.

[ but he can understand Ward's version of tired. maybe they'd talked about it before. ]

We're overdue a game of battleship. We're tied. Need to change that.